January 4, 2010

I have decided to keep a record of this year.

After a decade out of school, I have returned for an AA in Paralegal Studies. I was reading a textbook description last night, which included the phrase, “becoming paralegalistic.” Don’t know that’s a good thing, but here we go!

I am 32 years old. Wife, mother, small business owner, and potential in-patient nut case.

Not sure how this is going to go. I was always a good student. But even though I had a job, my identity was “student.” Now my identity is “Mom.” How do I balance the two? I know we live in a day and age when women can supposedly have it all. But that’s not a philosophy I’ve ever bought into. Everything in life has a trade off. Choosing one thing always means saying no to something else. I am just worried that saying “yes” to school means saying “no” too often to my husband and children. But here I am. I’ve bought my books. Survived my first class. And am now waiting in the hall outside the room of my next class. Just spent ½ hour trying to figure out how to log on to the school’s wireless. Ha, ha. I followed the instructions on my paperwork. Got my user name and password. But it doesn’t like the user name and password it agreed to, apparently. Very frustrating. Since everyone and their first and second cousins are waiting in line in the student services building today, I will just wait on this. My first class is computer technology in the law office. I think I am really going to enjoy it. Teacher is nice and very clear on expectations. I also enjoyed being one of the youngest students in the room. I was worried I was going to be on the other end of the spectrum. I sat in the front row. Not such a big deal to me, but I’d forgotten how political seating can be. We get to dabble in 12 different programs, only a couple of which I’ve used before. VERY cool. My next class is Contract Law. I am hoping I enjoy it. I’m just a twisted enough soul that I might. My house is a disaster area and it drives my Mom crazy. (Yes, we live with my parents. More on that later.) When I was married, didn’t have a job, and didn’t have kids, my house was perfect. Charlie (aka Sweet Hubby) and I remember those days fondly. But those days are over. Don’t know if they will ever return. I don't wish away the kids, but I wish away the piles! I am trying to accept that fact, as I am actually happier when I don’t freak out over the messes. (Nicer, too, I've been told.) But, as I said, makes my Mom crazy. But I love filing and paperwork and organizing. These are the things my mom finds tedious. I find them precise, orderly, and calming. Papers are also something I have more control over than I do the organizational habits of my husband and two small children. Heck, I keep the files in my computer more organized than I do my bedside table. This makes me well suited (at least in part) for a career as a paralegal. Not so hot as a good house guest and daughter. So these are my ramblings. I hope they bring clarity to me and some bemusement to anyone who reads this blog.